To be or not to be more?

There is a world of difference between, ‘I am happy with who I am right now, let me see how much more I can be’ and ‘I cannot accept myself as a failure, I want to do more so that I can start accepting me’. One is empowering and uplifting, the other is degrading and suffering. Route to fulfilment is only through complete acceptance of yourself who you are right now.


Entire internet is awash with millions of resources telling you how you can be more or do more or have more out of your life. They assure you, there is a lot more to life than what you have managed to experience so far. And it is possible to achieve your highest potential, which is much higher than what you have managed to do so far. 

Does this urge to be more provide you the inspiration to cross all your limitations? Or does it just make you feel disappointed with yourself, there must surely be a wide awning gap in the life you are living? 
Urge to be more, to do more, to have more is the basic foundation of all progress and growth. That is the one unique thing that sets us miles ahead of others in what we have achieved as a race in relatively short time in evolution compared to other intelligent beings on the earth. Without this urge, we will not make efforts to come out of ignorance, poverty, or even suffering. This belief that ‘there is a lot more to me’ is one of the strongest intrinsic motivation factors for all of us to strive our entire lifetimes towards sense of success, achievement, progress or growth. So there is nothing inherently wrong about the urge to be more, to do more or to have more.

But just as with any other psychological factors, there is a downside to this. There is nothing wrong to think ‘there is a lot more to me’, if this is coming from a deep sense of assurance built on self awareness. I know my strengths and weaknesses, I have managed to overcome my limitations in the past and hence I am confident I can achieve a lot more. The problem arises only when ‘there is a lot more to me’ is coming from a place of lack of positive confidence based on accurate self awareness. When it is an unconscious dialog based on our childhood hurt from parent’s expectations. That one tiny exasperated look ‘I did not expect this from you, of all people’ or ‘I expected more from you’ that made some impression in our tiny minds constantly urging us to be more and not allowing us to accept who we are even as adults.

When you take trouble to gain accurate self knowledge, based on your past behaviours, past achievements or failures, strengths and limitations, what results is a conviction that I can achieve more from life. But most of us look for someone to help us with some technique to succeed, missing the most crucial aspect of success or fulfilment, self awareness. Here, life is driven by unconscious patterns born of unfulfilled ambitions and frustrations. No amount of tips and techniques will make any  difference in your life without complete self awareness and acceptance. Awareness enables conscious, unconditional self acceptance, which you could not get from anyone else in life. Only then you can be free from unconscious urges for validation, recognition or appreciation from outside sources. In fact, awareness, acceptance and appreciation of yourself is the only door to MORE, of you and for you.